It Has Been Memorized
by EverlastingOblivion
Summary: What do you get when you cross Axel, plus a dysfunctional Organization XIII, an Author on crack, and three little words? You get an atrocity like this. Chapter 5: Marluxia! Rating Changed to M just for having Marluxia in it
1. Larxene

_**IT HAS BEEN MEMORIZED**_

"Got it memorized?" Axel said and chuckled. He poked her hard on the chest again " well do you? do you?"

"God Damnit Axel you're annoying. Go annoy Roxas or Demyx or _someone _else besides me before your head memorizes my kunai."

Axel suddenly became very quite. He sat down, shoulders hunched, head down. He whimpered softly and Larxene glared at him. He ceased the whimpering and sat in silence for what seemed like forever.

Then he slowly looked up at the angered nymph. " Larxene" he squeaked softly.

"**_Shut up"_** she snapped, not even letting him speak. She glared at him viciously from over the top of her book. She watched him disappear in a swirling black portal and sighed in relief.

Axel appeared right behind her chair. He stealthily approached her chair from behind. He silently leaned down and said, "Hey…hey Larxene…got it memorized?"

Axel felt the pain of a hardback book being slammed into his face. He tried to get away when Larxene got up and launched herself at him. She tackled him down to the floor and pinned him down. She summoned a kunai into her hand and brought it down, aiming at his forehead " nighty night Axel" She said, right before he teleported away, and he kunai connected with the floor.

"damn, he got away" Larxene cursed and pried her kunai from the floor. She sighed and picked up her discarded book and sat back down in her chair. She recovered her lost page and muttered " one of these days I'll get him. Him and his damn catch phrase. I'll show him who's got it memorized." She giggled to herself then yelled at the empty room " Hear that Axel?" she laughed. " **It has been memorized!"**

((Author's Note: This is just the first of at least twelve misadventures with the Flurry of Dancing Flames and his loveable catchphrase "Got it memorized?". I know it's a stupid crack induced idea but I think its worth a few cheap laughs.))


	2. Saix

_**IT HAS BEEN MEMORIZED**_

Axel found himself lying on a soft blue carpet. He got up and found himself face to face with the Luna Diviner.

"O-oh ummm…err… hi Saïx, I was just escaping crazy old Larxene. You know her, got it memorized?" Axel said with a crazy grin.

"Why yes Axel, I do have it memorized" Saïx replied with a crazier grin. The color drained away from Axel's face. Axel leapt to his feet, seeing the crazy bestial gleam in the berserker's eyes.

Saïx drew forth his claymore and chased after Axel swinging it madly and calling "Axel, hey Axel…Memorize this". Every time the claymore swing would get even closer to Axel.

"Nooooooo I don't want to memorize that!" Axel shrieked, opening the door to the room and taking off down the hall. Saïx vigilantly pursued the red head, constantly screaming at him.

"Help me Jesus, help me Jewish God, help me Allah, Help me Tom Cruise, use your witch craft to help me!" Axel was screaming like a little girl at this point.

Saïx's Claymore was successfully destroying everything, leaving naught in its wake.

Axel fooled him by turning a corner in the hallway and hiding in the first room he saw. He slammed the door and locked it till the sound of Saïx screaming "Smash, smash, smash" faded away. Axel heaved a sigh and slumped against the door.

"I definitely got that memorized….owww, I wish I could un-memorize it" Axel groaned and rubbed his hips where the claymore had clipped him a few times.

((Author's Note: Another stupid chapter for Axel's legacy. Did you spot the movie quote not so hidden in this story? The whole 'help me Jesus…' and so on quote is from the greatest movie ever, Ricky Bobby))


	3. Xigbar

_**IT HAS BEEN MEMORIZED**_

Axel sighed, resting his head against the door when he heard "What the hell are you doing in my room Axel?"

Axel looked up to see Xigbar dressed in black spandex. Axel looked beyond him to see a dance pad and arrows scrolling across a TV screen.

"DDR?" he asked.

"**_Dance Dance Revolution_**" Xigbar clarified, jumping up and down. " Now that you've disturbed me you can't leave till you beat me at DDR, kay? Okay then let me plug the other pad into the Playstation" He said excitedly.

"Beat you? But your up in this room all day, you like have to be the best ever!" Axel whined. This had been the worst day ever, and it had all started with three little words. " I'm not playing your damn game, got it memorized?" Axel snapped.

Xigbar's expression changed from joy to anger. " You will play with me or else…"

"Or else what?" Axel pushed.

"Or else I'll make you eat my sandwich" Xigbar stated grimly and held out a cheese sandwich, dripping with mold. "Play DDR with me or eat it, your choice."

Axel stared at the sandwich, disgusted. " How did you do that to a sandwich?"

"I kept it in my boxers for three years, so what's your choice?" Xigbar asked, grinning savagely.

"Fine I'll play you a stupid game of DDR. As for the sandwich…that's just disgusting." Axel tried not to barf as Xigbar stowed the sandwich back in his boxers.

Axel then jumped up on the dance pad and did an elaborate dance number to the Shakira song ' Hips Don't Lie'. Xigbar countered with a very awesome disco dance to 'We are the champions'. Axel then preformed a brake dance number to some weird song he didn't recognize when he stopped.

"You know what just occurred to me? I don't have to do this, I can just teleport somewhere else, got it memorized? Later." And with that Axel was once again swallowed by a corridor of darkness to escape some awful fate that his trademark catchphrase had cast for him.

((Author's Note: more randomness. An inside joke. Axel and Xigbar dancing… much stupidity. Axel's hips don't lie, hahahaha. Beware the next chapter… cause this story is only going to get stupider.))


	4. Demyx

**IT HAS BEEN MEMORIZED**

Axel was spit out of the portal in mid air. He looked down for only a moment before he fell with a splash. He sucked in a lung full of water before sinking like a rock to the bottom of the pool. He dug at the water wildly till he got his head up and could breath. He doggie paddled to the edge and climbed out, shaking himself off.

"**Who put a damn pool in anywhere but Xigbar's room?**" Axel yelled angrily.

"That would be me" Demyx replied and chuckled at the sopping wet Axel.

Axel glared at him. " Well why in _hell_ would you do that?"

"Because silly, I like swimming. Its fun. I like water, don't you?" Demyx asked, giggling childishly.

Axel gritted his teeth. "**No! no I don't like swimming you little retarded bastard. I hate water. I don't like anything about water. Water is stupid. And _you_** **are stupid too Demyx! I hate you too! And you know what! I hate your stupid Sitar and your stupid music too, got it memorized?"** he yelled at Demyx.

Demyx stood there, staring and slowly averted his gaze to the floor.

Axel stared for a moment, thinking poor baby Demyx was going to cry. Demyx's face was obscured but he knew Demyx was going to cry he always did.

"**Never** insult the sitar. Never. Ever. Insult it." Demyx said ominously. Axel had about a second before Demyx had summoned his Sitar and was beating Axel over the back of the head with it like a mallet.

"Oww. Oww. Oww. Stop that Demyx! I'm sorry" Axel cried running away from the insulted musician. Demyx ran after him, throwing the Sitar at him and knocking him off his feet. Axel fell forward and hit the ground hard with his face.

"Die. You. Music. Hating. Son. Of .A. Bitch." Demyx muttered darkly, stepping on Axel's back. Demyx picked Axel up, who was still dazed and threw him with Hulk like force into the pool.

"**Memorize that Axel!**" Demyx yelled, watching Axel's head collide with the bottom of the pool and red liquid begin seeping out. "uh-oh….crap….Axel….Axel? are you okay?" Demyx asked nervously. Demyx then burst into tears and ran away crying.

"OH MY GOD AXEL'S DEAD" Demyx screamed as he ran out the castle doors and over a cliff. His body was never found. Some speculate he might be alive and is still running screaming " AXEL'S DEAD!"

((Author's note: if this isn't the stupidest thing I've ever seen I don't know what is…. Give me ten more minutes alone with a sharpie and the next chapter will manage to be weirder….till then….AXEL'S DEAD!))


	5. Marluxia

**IT HAS BEEN MEMORIZED**

(Author note: Rating set to M as of now do to sexual references in this chapter. It can't have Marluxia and NOT be sexual. Don't worry s'not graphic, just being safe)

"Hey Demyx you wanna have se- Oh my God what happened here?" Marluxia said, walking down to the poolroom where Demyx always was. Instead he saw Axel floating upside down in the pool, blood coming out of his head. Marluxia pulled him out and stared at poor unconscious Axel.

Marluxia smirked evilly and dragged Axel's limp body up to his room, to do only God knows what.

XxX

Some Hours and a few band-aids later

XxX

Axel woke up, deliriously muttering, " Got it memorized?" over and over again with the occasionally " don't hit me Demyx, I love you!"

Marluxia giggled and prodded Axel. "Hey wake up Axel, you've been out cold for several hours now. I want you out of my bed. Zexion's gonna be here soon."

"oww. My ass hurts" Axel muttered then looked at Marluxia, suddenly very alert. " and why is Zexion going to be in your bed- WAIT, I don't want to know" he said, rubbing his backside.

"what happened to you Axel? When I found you had your head split open. It's gotta take a lot to break a hard head like yours."

"Hey, being beaten over the head hurts…don't made fun of my thick skull problem" Axel said and frowned.

"I won't if you do me a favor" Marluxia said sinisterly.

Not liking the way he was smiling, Axel declined Marluxia. "No thanks, I think I'd rather be made fun of then ever owing you a favor. Offence intended, got it memorized?" it had slipped out before he realized. He quickly clapped his hands over his mouth as Marluxia's cutesy smile turning into a vicious and lustful grin.

"NO! I didn't mean it. Un-memorize it please. Please!" Axel begged as Marluxia drew closer to him. Marluxia sat down on poor weak Axel, straddling him and then leaned down over his face.

"Never say no to a raging homosexual. We like to be positive people. Now say, yes, I'd like some very much, and then we can all be happy!" he growled, digging his nails into Axel's chest.

"NEVER!" Axel cried slipping away and he jumped out of the bed and flung the door open.

((Author's note: OMG cliff hanger ending to this one! Yay for me! I have some intelligence in my head… anyone else feel sorry for Axel? He got almost kunai'd, almost claymore'd, had to dance dance revolution with Xigbar, look at Xigbar's boxer sandwich, get drowned almost, get beaten up by Demyx, raped, then sexually assaulted by Marluxia. AND THAT'S ONLY SO FAR! Stay tuned to see what else happens, Got it Memorized?))


End file.
